Marilyn

[Marilyn]

[subway-tolkien]

Just reminding the fandom that MAX cut the budget, episode count, and episode length after grudgingly giving OFMD a second season. David said from the outset his story needed about three seasons and MAX gave roughly five hours total for S2 and no guarantee of a 3rd. They had so much to do and only thirty minutes to do it in per episode.

Meanwhile, they have a passionate fandom and they wanted us to have some kind of closure in case that 3rd season doesn't happen. But they have multiple plotlines to wrap up in a satisfactory way. In thirty fucking minutes.

So if it felt rushed, it was.

This is absolutely an example of why corporations should not have so much influence on art. This is greed stifling creativity, and I'm fucking sick of it. I celebrate what we got, but I mourn all the things they didn't get to do.

Don't just call for renewal of OFMD. Call for some goddamn respect.

[Marilyn]

[callmebliss]

And they look out so hard for the well being of the spiders AND the dolphins

[callmebliss]

@moss-wizard of course this isn’t how we serve it!!

It has to be in a dish with much higher sides, so when we go to cut it and it tries to sliiiiiide away it doesn’t escape and blorp blorp blorp across mom’s nice tablecloth

[breelandwalker]

SLICE YOUR CANNED BOGBERRY GOO INTO DISCS BEFORE SERVING, YOU FILTHY HERETICS.

[traegorn]

NO. IT WILL BE SERVED IN PROPER CAN SHAPE, AND WILL HAVE ITSELF SCOOPED INTO WEIRD SHAPES THE WAY THE GODS INTENDED

[breelandwalker]

YOU STAY OUTTA THIS, GOD-QUEEN-EMPEROR. AND TAKE YOUR CERVID STALKERS WITH YOU.

[dandelion-witch]

It's supposed to be served in can shape with two discs already sliced and laying tastefully in front

[breelandwalker]

I have consulted the scriptures and this is variation is still within the bounds of orthodoxy.

[tribblesandtribulations]

Mash the can shape up. We giving the table what they want, chaos in a dish, with a serving spoon.

[breelandwalker]

[moiracolleenodell]

Not to derail the escalating heresy, but what do dolphins have to do with cranberry bogs?

[amastodonofconflict]

[phizgigz]

cranberry is served in its can shape in the can direction, not on its side but on its cylinder

[olliums]

Right but you guys know that ocean spray also sells like. Cranberries. Which you can use to make an actually edible cranberry sauce on the stovetop in 10 minutes of unattended cook time

[aniseandspearmint]

actual cranberries? ew no thank you. The unprocessed chunky stuff is GROSS.

[oft-goes-awry]

Look, in my house, we mix it with whipped cream and freeze it in a graham cracker crust for dessert!

[somethinginterestingithink]

@oft-goes-awry

what the actual fuck?

[oft-goes-awry]

@somethinginterestingithink

Behold, my grandmother's recipe for Cranberry Surprise:

For the crust, combine 2/3 cup crushed ginger snap crumbs (put them in a large plastic bag and crumble with a rolling pin, or a mug if you don't have one) with 2 T. of sugar. Press into a 9" pie plate.

For the filling, pour a half-pint of regular whipping cream into a bowl, and beat until stiff. Mix in 2 T. of sugar and 1/2 tsp. of almond extract.

In another bowl, take a 14 oz. CHILLED can of jellied cranberry sauce and mash it with a potato masher if you've got one, or a fork if you don't. (My mom bought me a potato masher specifically so I could make this dessert at holidays without having to borrow hers.)

Once the log is goo, fold the cranberry sauce into the whipped cream mix. Yes, it's supposed to be THAT pink.

Pour the pink cream-and-cranberry mix into the crust and freeze for at least 24 hours. Cut and serve immediately upon removal from freezer.

[justgot1]

American Horror Food is one of my favorite tumblr post types.

(I make it from real cranberries but if I decide to go with Goo Log, I mash it like the unorthodox godkiller that I am.)

[strid3rofthen0rth]

I can only add that I worked in a deep freeze warehouse for a little bit when I was younger. The cranberries would come in loose around Halloween. This big machine would clean, sort, and dump them into 1000 lb wooden bins that would be forklifted and stacked to freeze in the warehouse.

One time, somebody lost control of a bin and broke it open. I would like you to picture a dozen warehouse workers slip sliding around on frozen cranberry ball bearings for hours, trying to clean them up, while you play Yakety Sax in your head. It was a nightmare.

[arianrhodsgarden]

Doesn’t everyone have a special cranberry-from-the-can serving plate and slice-cutting tool! What, are you all just living live Neanderthals?!?!

[callmebliss]

Oh my ZOD I love that

[astrid4189]

my brother is a culinary artist. one year he made some amazing cranberry sauce that nobody touched. the next year he made the same sauce, added a thickener, and set it in a ribbed can (he reused a pumpkin can iirc), and it was a hit.

we like the vague can-shaped fruit gelatin. i personally like it even more when it’s home-made.

[annleckie]

Ah, in my house we serve this standing up on a plate, and we call it Invisible Can. It is not a holiday dinner without Invisible Can.

[gallusrostromegalus]

1. Hello international friends, I am delighted to report all of the above is real :)
2. Not to come in with a steel chair here, but the ideal pairing for cranberry sauce in all forms, and the meat we *should* be serving at Thanksgiving, rather than easy-to-improperly cook turkey that tastes like napkins, is Lamb.

[Marilyn]

[asgardian--angels]

Izzy Discourse Masterpost

Hey all, given the amount of awful splintering and wank happening in ofmd fandom rn regarding Izzy's death, including the flat-out immature and unacceptable harassment of David Jenkins and Co, I wanted to just make this one all-encompassing post to address the various grievances and complaints I've seen (almost entirely on Twitter). If I've missed anything, please feel free to add on. I'm putting most of this under a read-more for length.

Please be aware, I say all of this as an Izzy fan. I've loved his character since season 1, and while I was sad to see him go, I completely understand and support David & Co's reasons for concluding his arc, and I think it was done respectfully in a way fitting to his character. So let's break down some of the takes I've seen. I am not referencing specific posts or people here, I just want to address the general themes that I keep seeing about why some people are upset.

Keep reading

[Marilyn]

[ceasarslegion]

Ive noticed recently that my generation has... no concept of what the various economic classes actually are anymore. I talk to my friends and they genuinely say things like "at least i can afford a middle class lifestyle with this job because i dont need a roommate for my one bedroom apartment" and its like... oughh

You guys, middle class doesnt mean "a stable enough rented roof over your head," it means "a house you bought, a nice car or two, the ability to support a family, and take days off and vacations every year with income to spare for retirement savings and rainy days." If all you have is a rented apartment without a roommate and a used car, you're lower class. That's lower class.

And i cant help but wonder if this is why you get kids on tumblr lumping in doctors and actors into their "eat the rich" rhetoric: economic amnesia has blinded you to what the class divides actually are. The real middle class lifestyle has become so unattainable within a system that relies upon its existence that theyve convinced you that those who can still reach it are the elites while your extreme couponing to afford your groceries is the new normal.

[beatrice-otter]

A century ago in the US, there were very sharp boundaries between the types of jobs that were middle class, and the types of jobs that were working class, and how much the jobs paid largely followed that, so you could know from the type of job a person had whether they were financially middle class or not. This plus classist educational and hiring systems allowed for a large degree of cultural homogeneity within a particular class. It was really easy, for the most part, to see the divisions between classes in the US. And that's largely when the cultural idea of "what middle class is" got set.

Then the labor movement resulted in a whole bunch of blue-collar jobs (i.e. jobs that involved working with your hands, trades, manufacturing, etc) getting actually paid what they're worth, which meant comfortably middle-class incomes, which blurred the lines a bit starting in the 40s and 50s.

Then, in the 70s, white collar jobs (think office work--the sort of job where you're never going to work up a sweat doing it) stopped keeping up with inflation. Up to this point, pretty much all white collar jobs were middle class jobs (at least the ones that weren't also pink-collar jobs, like secretary or teacher). So the purchasing power of the salaries for those jobs fell gradually over the decades.

But we still judge "am I middle class?" based on outdated appearances and whether or not you work a white collar job. A lot of people assume that they are middle class because they work a white collar job and live in the suburbs.

But if a single missed paycheck or major accident could spell financial ruin, you are not middle class.

To be middle class, you have to be financially stable enough that you don't have to care about things like how much groceries and gas cost. You have to be financially stable enough that you can take vacations every year without worrying about it. Not lavish vacations, necessarily, but nice ones. You have to be financially stable enough that saving for retirement is not a hardship, and neither is having a few thousand dollars in a rainy-day fund. And it's not enough to be able to afford all of that for yourself alone! You would have to be able to afford children on top of all that, either on your own income or combined income with your partner.

If you could not afford:

• kids
• vacations
• retirement savings
• emergency/rainy day savings
• not worrying about money issues, regular bills, the price of gas or groceries

then you are not middle class. In New York (state, not city), you have to make at least $75k/year to be middle class. In Georgia, you have to make at least $55k/year to be middle class.

And the thing is, not understanding what "middle class" actually means is really convenient for right-wing politicians. Because so many people think they are middle class when they are not. "They say this policy will help the middle class, and hurt the working class. Well, I am middle class, so I am in favor of it." Except the person who thinks this isn't middle class, and what's more, their boss may not qualify as middle class either.

[Marilyn]

[the-korova]

@ David Jenkins and the entire writing team.

[scarrletmoon]

thank you @davidjenks

[allthinky]

thank you @davidjenks

[starlithumanity]

thank you @davidjenks

[asneakyfox]

thank you @davidjenks

[forpiratereasons]

thank you @davidjenks

[saltpepperbeard]

thank you so much, @davidjenks <3

[asgardian--angels]

thank you @davidjenks

[haunteddiscotheque]

Thank you @davidjenks <3

[ourflagmeanslgbtqia]

Thank you @davidjenks ❤️

[here-there-everyfuckenwhere]

Thank you @davidjenks 💕

[snake-snack-stede]

Thank you @davidjenks 🌈

[xoxoemynn]

Thank you @davidjenks 🧜‍♂️

[glamaphonic]

thank you @davidjenks <3

[ourflagmeansgayrights]

thank you @davidjenks!!

[Marilyn]

[mydramaproblems]

I love parents in gay dramas. What Did You Eat Yesterday? / Kinou Nani Tabeta?

[honeypie1340]

The line ‘ARE YOU HALF ASSING THE GAY LIFETSYLE’ speaks to me on a personal level

[rembrandttheforbiddenone]

I love how they’re not even mad about their son beinf gay but like BITCH WE‘RE MEETING HIM AND IF WE DONT YOURE A DISGRACE

[42-wear-a-mask-greylizards]

The parental guilt trip is so fucking universal omg I love it.

You hide your boyfriend from your parents?! You hide your boyfriend like you are ashamed??!!! Oh jail for son!! Jail for son for 1000 years!!!

[fetus-cakes]

HOLD THE PHONE there’s a live action version of What Did You Eat Yesterday?? how did I not know this!?

everyone should read the manga this is based on! the protagonist is a 40 year old Shiro, a gay lawyer who is somewhat neurotic and is not used to society being increasingly accepting of gay people since he’s been in the closet for so long. Introverted Shiro is held in contrast to his boyfriend Kenji, who is out and proud and a social butterfly. The story is a slow paced character study on aging gay couples and how being queer is perceived by society. We get the perspectives of the gay couple, their families, their friends and their co-workers.

btw this line in the manga was “is being gay a joke to you??”

[Marilyn]

[absolvedgravitas]

America slaughtering buffalo and moving whole tribes for the sake of building railroads only to decide they dont actually like trains is giving the same energy as the english conquering the world for spices and then deciding they didnt like any of them. like father like son

[absolvedgravitas]

By the way, this is approximately 50% of the people in leaving tags on this post.

[Marilyn]

[headspace-hotel]

So I wanted to know what kind of crystal could go in a wizard staff, right? so I googled “big crystal,” as one does, and got an Etsy ad for This

And as you all know I Am currently taking a geology class, so I am probably more emotionally invested in minerals than usual. But that is...very obviously not a natural crystal.

So I did some looking around on Etsy.

Now, these shops all seem to advertise to the “witchy”/“spiritual healing” type of person. And there are a lot of them. Crystals are a Big Thing on Etsy. And ALMOST ALL of them are obviously artificially cut into the same sort of prism with a triangular pyramid top, regardless of the actual sort of crystal it is supposed to be.

Even like, fucking, obsidian. Obsidian is volcanic glass, it doesn’t form crystals at all, it is not a crystal

I’m not throwing any shade at people who are into crystals for like witchy reasons, but it really seems like if crystals are spiritually important to you, you should know what a crystal is...right...?

[headspace-hotel]

So there I am. Caught in the helpless anger and distaste of looking at geologically inaccurate Etsy crystals.

And as I scroll, I start to see items in...interesting shapes:

“Oh,” I think to myself. “Oh no.”

But it is too late. I have heard the siren’s song, singing to me of knowledge that will destroy me, but that I cannot help but seek.

These...elongated objects are almost always ambiguously described as “massage wands,” “crystal healing wands,” and other such innocuous things. The egg-shaped objects are, um, “yoni eggs.”

...Right. Okay.

Maintain the youthfulness of my sacred organ.

IT’S A SEX TOY. SAY IT. BITCH, IT’S A SEX TOY, IT’S OKAY, SERIOUSLY, THERE’S NO SHAME IN IT, SAY IT WITH PRIDE, SAY IT WITH YOUR CHEST,

OKAY.

Okay. I’m good. I’m fine.

Actually, you know what, never mind. There is shame in this and I want it to be never acknowledged again.

Additionally, I am not fine.

Why the fuck are there so many of these—

At this point I stop and start googling.

Now, Selenite is the crystalline form of gypsum. It is also known as satin spar. Selenite is brittle and breaks easily, and has a Mohs hardness scale of 2.

For those unfamiliar with the Mohs hardness scale, a mineral with a hardness of 2 is soft enough that it can be easily scratched with a fingernail. It also is dissolved by moisture.

NO. DON’T PUT THAT IN YOUR BODY???? DON’T PUT THE GYPSUM, WHICH HAS A MOHS HARDNESS SCALE OF 2, IS BRITTLE AND BREAKS EASILY, AND IS WATER SOLUBLE, INSIDE YOUR LITERAL ACTUAL VAGINA??????????

I try to reassure myself with the fact that these things are probably not actually selenite, because making a dildo out of such a soft mineral in the first place would be very difficult. Having seen fluorite before, I feel pretty certain that the fluorite yoni eggs are probably actually just glass.

I google fluorite.

Okay.

Further exploring online shows me that fluorite is soluble in various strong acids.

Some guys on a forum in 2004 have strong contradictory opinions on this.

(I google the pH of the vagina.)

I don’t understand how pH works. I give up on the solubility question and google the toxicity of fluorite:

I now know at least one orifice fluorite does not go inside.

Science.

[headspace-hotel]

No, dear followers, my journey did not end here.

I have opened Pandora’s box, except Pandora’s box is filled with minerals God did not intend to be anywhere near the vagina carved into the shape of dildos. Etsy is advertising me sex toys I wish I could forget.

And vaginal steam herbs.

It seems that there is potentially a correlation between wanting to steam your vagina and wanting to put rocks in it. I know, groundbreaking discovery.

Okay, so we’re talking therapy substitute therapy substitute.

(I begin to think about how desperately we need universal health care. Maybe I just need someone, something, to blame.)

At this point, I realize that I haven’t done any googling on whether dildos made of rocks are a good idea at all. So, very tentatively, as if typing it more slowly will make it any less observed by the FBI, I google whether quartz should be used...internally.

First result that pops up:

That’s, uh. That’s reassuring.

I decide I’m incapable of unpacking this particular suitcase.

There are, of course, a small handful of articles debating the safety of rose quartz sex toys. But I’m getting the feeling that this is not a normal question to have in the first place. I close the tab with little relief.

Etsy is still enthusiastically recommending me things that hurt me psychologically.

...pleasure chalk?

How can I describe the fear that this image struck in me, reader?

Pleasure Chalk? What could that be?

Is knowing worse, or is not knowing? I scarcely have a choice:

I check in with my emotions.

Is this relief? Am I relieved that they are eating the dirt instead of fucking it? One review complains about the taste. I don’t know what they expected.

I try in vain to struggle against the tide, to return to the relatively normal side of Etsy. I begin to resent, no, hate, these deceptively aesthetically pleasing hippie shops eagerly spreading medical misinformation and things as yet unknown.

This, unlike the other “crystals” I have shown, appears to show naturally grown crystals. They are, of course, quartz crystals, and $45 comes off as extremely overpriced. I have a quartz crystal I got for a dollar at an Eastern Kentucky rock festival, about the size and quality of the ones in the photo.

Quartz is the most common mineral in the Earth’s crust. But at least this is regular levels of annoying.

Then I see this:

Well, I see the photo and the price, and I think, that looks like a regular quartz crystal. There’s no way a regular quartz crystal is $1,347.

I read the description:

I am crying. I don’t want to google any of this. I am beyond googling. I no longer desire knowledge.

THATS A QUARTZ CRYSTAL. MOTHERFUCKER THAT’S QUARTZ. SIO2, MOST COMMON MINERAL IN THE EARTH’S CRUST. ITS FUCKING QUARTZ IM—

I click on a malachite.

The malachite promises to protect me from emails. And at this, darkest hour, I want to be protected.

I have been broken. I have been lured to my demise.

Big Brother: loved.

Geology lab I’m supposed to be doing: incomplete.

God: unmerciful.

[comeupinns]

This post has everything. Price gouging quartz, eating dirt, and fucking poisonous rocks.

[skxllz]

I'm absolutely ascending at this part of the entire post

[the-haiku-bot]

I’m absolutely

ascending at this part of

the entire post

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[Marilyn]

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

People are like “these animals have exoskeletons and these ones have endoskeletons” but no. It’s all exoskeletons, your exoskeleton is protecting your bone marrow which is where your soul (which is you) is. The rest of the stuff is extraneous decoration that Big Pharma wants you to think is important/

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Why do you think there’s so few ghosts around? Why are most ghosts people who died violently? You gotta crack the bones to let the soul out. Most souls are trapped alone in the dark and silent ground (or teaching hospitals) for hundreds or thousands of years until the bones eventually start to break. People who are cremated get their whole soul released and it can reincarnate. But if someone dies violently then maybe only a couple of their bones are cracked and a little scrap of the soul escapes but it’s incomplete and confused. Can’t figure out how to leave, gets obsessed with its own circumstances, repeats actions, CANNOT be reasoned with. PROOF that the soul is in the marrow.

See I know what I’m talking about.

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Sin is stored in the teeth btw which is why young children are innocent (they’ll get a do-over with replacement teeth) and the elderly are shameless (once you have no teeth to remember your sins, you have nothing to fear).

[derinthescarletpescatarian]

Upon review I think that maybe vodka isn’t for me.

[Marilyn]

[lunar-eclipse-tales]

The way I am cackling right now 🤣🤣🤣🤣